Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Breaking Up

Loneliness can make you do stupid stuff. It can make you call your ex; say yes to a guy you usually don't say yes to; increase your craving for sweets; make you watch pathetic romantic movies and cry; make you lay on your bed and stare at the ceiling; look through the window and see people pass by; or whatever makes you more pathetic, you do them regardless of its consequences.
You wonder what if you were still with him; what if you decided to stay after all he did - would it be less hurting and less miserable? You secretly blame yourself for your misery. You pick up your phone, checking for every few minutes whether he had texted you or called you and left a voicemail. You check your facebook, and read his every status and wall posts, hoping to see a single signal regarding you. But you end up disappointed. You start doing every single pathetic moves you have done over and over again. You go to school, no you don't go to school, cuz you can't understand what the f*ck your teacher is lecturing about now (excuse my french), because all you can think about is him and the memories you have shared with him. The good memories come to your mind and you smile inside [teacher still talking, fellow classmates taking notes thoroughly] but you keep on thinking, trying to make excuse to forgive him and see him again. But you end up disappointed as well, because another side of you knows that what he did was wrong, and it sure knows that he no longer deserves you. But you still love him! Regardless of the bad things he has done, you still like him. Keeping away from him hurts you as much as it hurts him. Oh wait, no, we don't know whether he misses you. Why??? Cuz he still hasn't called you yet! You stop again and think. Consequently, you understand that it is best for you to move on for good - for yourself and without hurting yourself.
You once again exercise, open the books you have thrown in the corner of the shelf, catch up with your classmates, share with your girlfriends about his ass-ness, laugh at how funny the whole stupid crying days were, and open your eyes and understand that he is not the only guy on Earth. You put on your best look and go on a date with a challenging gentleman; get on track and be dangerous and brave again. In the end, you realize how great girl you really were (and are) and understand that it was his loss, not yours, because he calls you as soon as you move on. 

Dumb guys realize the worth of someone when they finally loose one. Sad and silly, but true: boys will be boys. They think they rule the world, but actually it is really in woman's hand and everything depends on our choices. 

What's that word? Yeah - behind every strong man, there is a strong woman. Remember that.

I found this in midst of my diary notes of university era. Simply can't believe I wrote this. lol. Pls, laugh with me :D
Much mature now,


  1. Lol. I thought this is happening to you now. Those memorable days occurred in all women's life, especially around 18. Happy to see now you are matured. Wish you all the bests!

  2. ....and you are trying to connect every single things with him.
    After a certain time (as now) you are laughing on your past. Well this is the life.

    1. Indeed. I had no courage to publish such note back then, but definitely yes. Sharing my laughs with you all. Sharing is caring!


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